Sometimes, we all wonder if God cares.
Sometimes, we wonder if we’ve made this faith thing up. Our footsteps falter, life sets in and we look around to discover the ground is shifting. Without warning, the deck starts to tilt and our feet start to slide out from underneath us.
I’ve felt like this recently. With a personal issue that’s too raw to talk about here, I have cried out to God. I have journaled. Prayed while driving. Sobbed for God to stay with me. Fell asleep with my Bible on my lap. Sought prayer from friends. Withheld the sadness. Used pride to cover it up. Let it out. Repeated all of the above over and over again.
The Bible tells us to “draw near to God and he will draw near to you” (James 4:8). Oh, how I drew near. I drew so near that I sometimes felt as if I were losing my mind. But even that was reassuring because if it were true, I was losing it to the Dear One who made it. So, even going crazy was okay with me. I walked and prayed. I got up from my desk and walked to the Family Dollar near work, praying the entire way. When I arrived, I bought a box of Junior Mints. I walked to Starbucks more times than is financially sensible, and I prayed there and back. If you’ve seen me lately, my mouth probably has been moving silently.
Finally, God spoke. And in his perfect love, he wrapped me with a reassurance above and beyond what I ever expected.
My mother said: You are an answer to prayer, my precious daughter. Thank you for getting on a plane to visit me and dad.
My dear friend going through a horrible divorce said, “You called at the right time. How did you know?”
My sweet neighbor said, “Thank you for your prayers for my sick son. It means a lot.”
My best friend drove miles to meet me at a Cracker Barrel. When she arrived, she handed me a Beth Moore book because she knows there’s really no better gift for someone like me.
In all of these instances, I was ministered to, but I was also shown that God still moves. He still orchestrates circumstances, chance meetings and everyday happenings. I have so nakedly asked to be used by God over the past year—and do you know what? God answered. He still moves. He moves.
If you are asking, “Where is God?” know that this is a perfect question to ask. You can even beg it. I have, and I did. Know that the Giver of Life is eager to show you his love. But it may come in a whisper. It may come in an awkward situation. It may come wrapped in a difficult person. And one foolproof way to look for this movement is to be so close to Jesus that when he comes—and he will, my dear friend—you have drawn so near that you’ll practically trip over JC on the way out the door.
Life is hard. Draw near. Ask Jesus to sit with you. Drive with him. Turn off the phone. Walk to Starbucks. Whatever you do, get ready. He’s already here.