“Is anyone crying out for help? God is listening, ready to rescue you. If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.” Psalm 34:15-18 (The Message)
What can I say to you about this, God? They have found her precious body. There is no miracle. It was over two weeks beside that awful lake. And now she is home once more.
I raged at God this morning, He and I—we were not blissful. We were not peaceful. The morning sun, so often welcomed over my Bible and journal, was dark. I scarcely noticed dawn. It was just me and God. And I gave him an earful. I’ll spare you the words, but suffice it to say my cries were completely unoriginal. Since time began, the words I poured out to my Lord have been spoken by others, and more eloquently.
So, what can I say to you, O God? You’ve heard it all before. All day, I kept returning to our unfinished conversation. I know the pat answers, the theological answers, but those would not do. I was restless; there was nothing for me in the grand plan to hold onto. It was then I realized that all I wanted was Him.
Him. The Author of Life. The Alpha and the Omega. The Prince of Peace. I yearned for his comfort. And so I talked. And talked. And listened. I went to Scripture and settled on “…if your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there.” This seemed fitting because my heart was breaking for the family.
It’s an interesting thing about God—the more time you spend with him, the closer he is. And he was close, very close. At this moment, I know of nothing more real than God. He lives and he is near. Reach for him if you are broken hearted. He cares for you. Lay your worries and baggage at his feet. Even the angry questions. You’ll have lots of company.
I imagine that I am not yet finished with asking questions and raging at God. At least we’re talking. So, what can I say to you? Come, Lord Jesus. Come close to me.